Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize