Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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