Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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