So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
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