You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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