You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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