I bet he comes in French.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
