I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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