When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
