Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Randomize
