Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
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About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
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I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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