One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
