I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
