Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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