69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
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