The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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