oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
