Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
