when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
