Who wears a wallet chain?!
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
