chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I'm bleeding and have questions
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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