what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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