he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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