I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Someone signed my nipple.
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