Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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