I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Randomize
