I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
