I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
You pole danced in your parka.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
