Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Randomize
