Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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