I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
So vagazzling was a success
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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