he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
