we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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