I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize