i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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