I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Randomize