I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
