Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Green mimosas i think yes
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Randomize