Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
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