It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Randomize
