He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
