He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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