I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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