the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize