dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
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