Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
