this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
So squirting runs in the family.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Randomize
