Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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