i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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