:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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