she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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