dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
