Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Randomize
