So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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