Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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