Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
At least life still wants to fuck me.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
