got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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