Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
