i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
